So many engagements and wedding photos of mutual friends are popping up on my newsfeed. I’m happy for them, it’s wonderful. Still makes me feel sad when I pictured that for myself one day. Now it feels as far away as ever. Stupid feels. I really miss Tom today. Time for bed.
tulimyrsky said: I’ve personally had more success with a good therapist than medication (hated every single side effect and never really felt better) but that said I hope you find a medication that helps.
The medication I’m on really helps when I take it and stick to it, I just find it difficult to stick to taking pills. I’ve been through years of therapy, which has helped but I find like I’ve exhausted that option and don’t feel like opening up anymore. >.<
So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future.
The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."
Day 30: I said I’d do this for thirty days so this is my last daily update on how I’m going post-break up. I suppose I’ll still write on here anyways, but they won’t be deliberate anymore. Nothing really new to update, just keep on keeping on. Should probably go back on my medication. I wish it wasn’t so hard to stick to, it would certainly take a lot of the pressure off.
Return of The Mack
Day 29: Feeling a lot calmer, mentally today. I had a nice night with some guy mates last night. Just hung around drinking, listening to metal, playing with the dogs, had a BBQ, watching Steel Panther & Cannibal Corpse live dvds and then played a god awful Malmsteen drinking game which had me power-chucking on the freeway on the way home. So today sucks. :P
I miss Tommy, but, you know, that’s always a given. It has been getting easier though and I’m really coming to peace with the fact that things won’t go back to how they were and that’s okay. I expect to have some darker days in the future, but I’m anticipating them. I just hope he’s going to be okay as well.
On another note, I’m sad to leave because I’ve cultivated some especially meaningful friendships this year. I guess I’ve always considered myself a bit of a loner and not having many friends used to upset me a lot, and now I feel like I have them and it’s going to be hard to say goodbye to that. I’m grateful I have friends in Europe and one of my closest girlfriends will be coming in April so I’m happy about that.
But yeah, hope everyone else has had nice weekends. If anyone wants to chat, send me a message. ^^) xx
Day 28: Saw my dad today as he just got home from Vietnam and had a really good chat about moving overseas. It’s nice to know my parents are 100% supportive. They’re both true inspirations with amazing stories. Makes me feel a whole lot less anxious about the situation. :)